Oh destiny! Where do you hide?
I search like a fool. A fake. Pride.
Needle in hand: I'm mad.
And when I see her, Grace, I'm sad.
All the while the Devil whispers God is bad.
But I know differently.
Oh destiny! Show yourself.
Make yourself available to me.
I'm in no shape to try, to try.
The wind is cold and ground is wet
And the Sun is soon to set.
No fire, no food, cigarette.
A head full of want and regret.
And my dog just shit on my blanket.

Early Morning One Sunday...

Eli awoke finally, abruptly. His eyes burned in the opening. A heavy layer of sweat sat on his forehead and poured down his cheeks. As he sat forward he was struck by an agonizing pain as if a knife were lodged internally; the movement causing the edges to stab and slice at his core. Lilith was not asleep next to him like usual, in fact, her side of the bed was pressed and tidy. On the night stand was a full glass of water that is normally half empty by morning and at least a three fourths of the way empty by this time of night. The dark living room was also void of her presence and showed no evidence that she had ever existed. Eli's heart skipped a beat as he felt the points begin again to prod sharply at his soft heart. He wobbled backwards then regained his footing by leaning hard on his left hand. There it was, under his hand: a note; the note. Eli read and re-read the words in silence; each reading bringing more clarity to his clouded mind. The sharp hurt was working rapidly now, chopping, slicing, stabbing. He lay like an infant curled on the floor repeating the words he'd read over and over in his mind: "I'm sorry..." "Goodbye, Goodbye," each time all the more painful. Suddenly, finally, the sun began to rise. A blinding light shone on his face through the window. The pain started to melt away, and soon it was gone. He stood up tall, refreshed, renewed; the blood flowed freely through his chest for the first time in months.

I am always dreaming;
Visions of god on earth:
I walk with Godish confidence,
Like Adam in the evening

The Purple Heart

Here's A Little Something I've been working on today:

THE PURPLE HEART


i'm leaving to find my location

far enough away to lose your eyes.

life's gone on since our escapade

the damage still sits heavy

i'm cutting off the ties I've held

to put myself in the pulpit for review

just like the others before me.

God put his hands in my life
before you.

still I held your soft heart so tightly

... i crushed the veins.

GOD show me how to hold a heart

without suffocating it.

Second Tim. Two Three

A Warning To You From Me

Turn your back on me

I love Myself,
And your Body,
And Pleasure.
I am a Fool.

Times are perilous!

And you are gullible.
Sin is on my back.
And I know God.

So turn your back on me!